Sex Drunks

Pasha and J. unpack the retreat high, the lonely crash afterward, and why recovery friends can feel like home. They explore building community beyond formal meetings through chaotic WhatsApp threads, spontaneous group calls, poker nights, and a small winter retreat—with plenty of side quests along the way.

Ash and Catherine join the guys at the retreat to talk sponsorship, relapse, and the relief of not having all the answers. They get honest about dating, shame, surrendering outcomes, and learning to connect with people without lust running the conversation. Along the way, J. questions the relentlessly upbeat recovery meeting, everyone compares criminal histories, and speeding becomes an amends issue.

At the retreat, the guys dig into surrendering what matters most—money, sex, dating, anger, and the illusion of control. Mike shares how a roof repair tested his sense of security, why buying coffee nearly wrecked his serenity, and what it means to let God have the good and the bad. They also wrestle with when to talk openly about sex addiction and why being among people who understand can finally feel like home.

Nicole and Brennan join J. and Pasha to talk about separation, relapse after 90 days of treatment, and why they had to recover apart before they could recover together. They get honest about broken trust, Sunday recovery marathons, learning when to shut up, and the difference between being helpful and trying to control. Plus, an engagement-photo disaster shows just how dark—and strangely laughable in hindsight—the insanity could get.

At an SA retreat, Scott and Austin join the guys to talk sponsorship, first-step feedback, and the difference between doing all the things and actually surrendering. They get honest about ignored phone calls, bruised egos, East Coast bluntness, West Coast laughter, and why J. should never ask whether the butt was good. Somewhere along the way, DSRs become toilets and a missing Patreon becomes a recovery hazard.

On the road to an Oregon retreat, J. and Pasha ask whether sex addiction is really so different from other addictions—and what gets missed when we insist it is. They get honest about lust, relapse, ego, withdrawal, and the daily work of making it through without pretending recovery turns off the insanity. Plus: an overprotective car, roadside adult stores, and why nobody needs Captain Save-a-Drunk.

Margie joins the conversation to talk about women in sex addiction recovery, breaking stigma, and the freedom she found after years of white-knuckling it. She shares how faith, vulnerability, and her husband’s steadfast support carried her through a devastating bottom, while J. reflects on surrender, marriage, and a God who knows how to get our attention. Plus: Jedi mind tricks, step-four warnings, ocean-sized egos, and one listener’s official approval of the crack joke.

A fellow’s family crisis pushes the guys into a candid conversation about humility, marriage, boundaries, and the limits of recovery advice. J. shares what years of rebuilding trust looked like, while an awkward downstairs neighbor raises the question of what it actually means to 12-step someone. Then things loosen up with a misguided attempt to sponsor women, accusations that recovery is a cult, and red cards at a cross-talk meeting.

A dream studio and a ChatGPT detour into hyperfixation lead to a bigger question: how do you share recovery stories without exposing someone else? J. and his co-host unpack silent meeting regulars, awkward public run-ins, and why “men’s group” is a dangerously flimsy wedding cover story. Plus, they unveil a wildly unethical sobriety-based Patreon and accidentally pray the wrong prayer.

R.C. joins Pasha and J. to unpack 14 years of searching for recovery, the “first drink” of lust, and why changing the recipe can change the result. They get into sobriety definitions, the Big Book versus the White Book, healthy intimacy, and letting go of the need to fix everyone else. Along the way, football tension flares and “bro” and “dude” become a very non-alcoholic drinking game.P.S. The email that R.C. gave in the episode was incorrect. If you would like to reach out to him you can do so at recoverednotcured@icloud.com